- I’ll Change My Name
At the age of 16, Edely decided to leave home and join a theater company. His father was appalled, “A son of mine on the stage? It’s a disgrace!” he wailed. “What if the neighbors find out?”
“I’ll change my name,” the comic-to-be volunteered.
“Change your name!” His father screamed. “What if you’re a success? How will the neighbors know it’s my son?”
爱迪利16岁时，决定离开家加入一个剧团。他爸爸很震惊。“我的儿子上舞台？太丢人了！”他大吼道，“邻居们认出来怎么办？”
这位未来的喜剧演员主动提出说，“我会改名字的。”
“改名字！”他爸爸尖叫道，“那你要是成功了，邻居们怎么知道那是我的儿子？”
2.The Composition Class
The students in the composition class were assigned the task of writing an essay on “the most beautiful thing I ever saw”. The student who, of all the members of the class seemed the least sensitive to beauty, handed in his paper first with astonishing speed. It was short and to the point. He had written: “The most beautiful thing I ever saw was too beautiful for words.”
作文课上，学生被布置写一篇文章，关于“你见过最美的东西”。这个班上看上去对美最无感的同学飞快地交了卷。他写得很短但是一针见血。他写道：“我见过最美的东西就是美得无法形容。”
- New Discovery
A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator. Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, “I should have brought my wife!”
一个乡巴佬第一次来到一个大城市。进入一座办公楼，他看见一个矮胖的老女人步入一个小房间。然后，门关上，灯闪烁。过了一会儿门打（滑）开了，电梯里走出了一位漂亮的年轻模特。乡巴佬惊奇地眨了下眼睛，喃喃自语道：“我应该带上我的老婆。”
- A Letter Was Missed
A man left for a vacation to Jamaica. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail message. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let our a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: “Dearest wife, just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Your Loving Husband. P.S. Sure is hot down here.”
有个男子去牙买加度假。他老婆正好出差，计划第二天在当地汇合。当他到达酒店后，决定给他老婆发一封快速电子邮件。因为找不着他之前写有老婆邮件地址的纸片，他努力凭记忆输入了地址。很不幸，他漏掉了一个字母，他的留言直接发给了一个老牧师的妻子，而这位牧师前一天刚去世。当这个伤心的寡妇查收她的邮件的时候，她看了一眼显示屏，尖叫一声，倒地死在了地板上。听到她的声音，家人冲进她的房间，看到屏幕上的留言：“亲爱的妻子，我刚刚登记完。一切就绪，就等你明天到达。爱你的老公。PS：这里可真热。”
- The Mean Man’s Party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said,”Come up to fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door opened, push with your foot.”
“Why use my elbow and foot?”
“Well, gosh,” was the reply,”You’er not coming empty-handed, are you?”
一个臭名昭著的吝啬鬼终于决定要请客了。他在给一个朋友说明如何找到他的公寓时说，“上到5楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开后，用你的脚推开。”
“为什么要用我的胳膊肘和脚？”
回答道，“天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”